Young Women Lesson: How Can the Savior Help Me Overcome My Fears?

Matthew 9–10; Mark 5; Luke 9

I taught Young Women last week so all of my studying was lesson prep. I really enjoyed studying two talks, both of which I'll share quotes from:

• Be Not Troubled - Ronald A. Rasband
• Peace, Be Still - Lisa L. Harkness

I began my lesson by asking the girls what they thought about fear. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? I was impressed by their ideas. We discussed how fear helps us identify danger and how it can be both a tool and a detriment in our lives. I like this quote from Elder Rasband: "Since ancient times, fear has limited the perspective of God’s children."

Matthew 10:28-32

28 And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

29 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.

30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

31 Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.

32 Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven.

When we have a mortal perspective, we fall into patterns of fearing things that don't have eternal consequence. One example brought up in class was the desire to please others and a fear of disappointing them or being disliked. That's something I've struggled with my whole life. Having an eternal perspective helps us see what the real dangers are.

The truth is that we are known and loved down to the very hairs on our heads. The Savior loves us and is always our advocate. What matters is what He thinks of us, not what others think of us. We shouldn't fear what mortals can do to us, but instead whether or not we're living the Lord's way and preparing to return to Him. There will be a lot of circumstances, illnesses, trials, etc in this life that we can't control. We need to focus on what we can control, which is how we use the gift of agency we've been given.

Elder Rasband:

Our desire to “always have his Spirit” with us will push fear aside for a more eternal view of our mortal lives. President Nelson has cautioned, “In coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost.”

I love the emphasis lately on the importance of the Spirit and personal revelation. Sometimes the gift of the Holy Ghost is a nicety we take for granted. President Nelson is telling us that it's so much more. It's necessary for our spiritual survival. That's the real danger - dying spiritually, or in other words, being separated from Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. We need the Holy Ghost in our lives every day in order to navigate mortality with an eternal perspective. It's more than a matter of comfort, even though that aspect of the Holy Ghost is very important. We need to be communicating with Heaven and staying as close to it as we can.

I asked the class these questions:

• How would you feel if you had a health problem that couldn’t be fixed?
• What if that problem gave everyone a reason to judge you or exclude you?
• What would you be afraid of?

Class members said they'd be afraid of dying, losing their loved ones, and so on. We discussed the woman with the issue of blood and what her life must have been like, as well as the experiences of the man with the unclean spirit and Jairus.

I love this paragraph from the Come, Follow Me lesson:

Chapter 5 in the book of Mark records that three people approached Jesus who all had reasons to fear. A man with an “unclean spirit” faced a life of isolation, living “in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones” (Mark 5:2, 5). Jairus, a ruler of a synagogue, feared losing his daughter, who was “at the point of death” (Mark 5:23). And a woman with “an issue of blood twelve years” was not healed after spending “all that she had” on “many physicians” (Mark 5:25–26). Each person you teach is unique and faces his or her own fears. But just as the Savior can cast out unclean spirits, raise the dead, and heal a dreadful disease, He can help us when we are afraid. His counsel to Jairus has great power in our lives today: “Be not afraid, only believe” (Mark 5:36).

The woman could have been afraid of the crowds. Anyone who touched her would be considered unclean. She could have feared being cast out or being rebuked by Jesus for touching Him. She had every reason to hide herself away in fear, depression, isolation, etc. But she didn’t choose fear. She chose faith. When she did, the Savior told her that her faith made her whole.

Choosing faith over fear can make us whole, too, even if we don’t receive the healing we desire in this lifetime. “Whole” doesn’t mean that our lives or circumstances are perfect. It means that we can have an eternal perspective and realize that we are whole and joyful through Christ. We always have the promise of Him making everything right in the end. Our faith can change who we are inside. Elder Holland has taught that suffering is exalting. Whatever we’re going through, it’s not pointless and it will end in the Lord’s time. We need to “be not afraid, only believe.”

I shared with the class a personal experience. I'll leave out some details here, but the summary is that I had some hard days. I felt afraid and overwhelmed and I kept focusing on the negative. I felt like I had a gloomy cloud over me. I allowed the cloud to stay awhile and it was horrible. I was touched by this quote from Elder Rasband (bold added to emphasize my favorite part):

There is no room for fear in these holy places of God or in the hearts of His children. Why? Because of love. God loves us—always—and we love Him. Our love of God counters all fears, and His love abounds in holy places. Think about it. When we are tentative in our commitments to the Lord, when we stray from His path leading to life eternal, when we question or doubt our significance in His divine design, when we allow fear to open the door to all its companions—discouragement, anger, frustration, disappointment—the Spirit leaves us, and we are without the Lord. If you know what that is like, you know it is not a good place to be. In contrast, when we stand in holy places, we can feel God’s love, and “perfect love casteth out all fear.”

Oh man, it's a horrible place to be! As I struggled to fight the negativity, I realized it was true that I’d opened the door to not only fear, but all its companions. I needed to make important decisions and I didn’t have the Spirit in my life to help me. I felt totally stuck. I realized I needed to choose faith and positivity. I needed to break the cycle of fear in my mind.

I asked the class what they would do in my situation. Their answers included:

• Go to the temple.
• Listen to uplifting music.
• Pray.

What did I do? I played the 2023 youth album on Spotify. I played with my children as I listened to all those inspiring, uplifting lyrics. After only a few songs, I felt so much better. Instead of focusing on my weaknesses, I was focused on the fact that our Savior can do anything and that we can do all things through Him. I really needed that reassurance. Music is one of many tools we can utilize to help us choose faith instead of fear. Good songs can put positive thoughts and words into our minds. Instead of worrying about my inadequacies and anxieties, I had “I can do all things through Christ” stuck in my head. Drew also gave me a blessing and that helped immensely. The priesthood is a major tool in our lives that we should utilize.

We did a fun exercise in class. I handed out these scriptures (as well as a few quotes):

Joshua 1:9

9 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

Psalm 56:3–4

3 What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.

4 In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.

Isaiah 41:10

10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

John 14:27

27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

2 Timothy 1:7

7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Doctrine and Covenants 50:41–44

41 Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me;

42 And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost.

43 And the Father and I are one. I am in the Father and the Father in me; and inasmuch as ye have received me, ye are in me and I in you.

44 Wherefore, I am in your midst, and I am the good shepherd, and the stone of Israel. He that buildeth upon this rock shall never fall.

Doctrine and Covenants 68:6

6 Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you; and ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come.

I asked everyone to ponder their scriptures and quotes for a moment. Then, I asked them to share things that they're afraid of (if they were comfortable). As they expressed their feelings, I asked other class members to share any scriptures they thought applied to the fears we discussed. I thought it was a meaningful exercise to help the girls learn how to use the scriptures to find comfort and answers. I really enjoyed hearing their thoughts. 

We can find hope, joy, peace, and comfort in our Savior. The key is living in such a way that the Spirit is with us.

Elder Rasband (bold added):

The Lord has revealed: “For they that are wise and have received the truth, and have taken the Holy Spirit for their guide, and have not been deceived—verily I say unto you, they shall not be hewn down and cast into the fire, but shall abide the day.” 

This is why we should not be troubled by the turmoil of today, by those in the great and spacious building, by those who scoff at honest effort and dedicated service to the Lord Jesus Christ. Optimism, courage, even charity come from a heart not burdened by troubles or turmoil. President Nelson, who is “optimistic about the future,” has reminded us, “If we are to have any hope of sifting through the myriad of voices and the philosophies of men that attack truth, we must learn to receive revelation.”

I love that he says we need to let go of our worries and burdens in order to have optimism, courage, and charity. How can we be charitable if we’re so focused on ourselves and our fears? When we have faith in God, and act on that faith, we can look beyond ourselves and truly serve. It's vital that we are engaged in the work - for the sakes of both ourselves and those around us.

Elder Rasband (bold added):

Remember, “they that be with us” on both sides of the veil, those who love the Lord with all their heart, might, mind, and strength, “are more than they that be with them.” If we actively trust in the Lord and His ways, if we are engaged in His work, we will not fear the trends of the world or be troubled by them. I plead with you to set aside worldly influences and pressures and seek spirituality in your daily life. Love what the Lord loves—which includes His commandments, His holy houses, our sacred covenants with Him, the sacrament each Sabbath day, our communication through prayer—and you will not be troubled.

To receive personal revelation, we must place priority on living the gospel and encouraging faithfulness and spirituality in others as well as ourselves.

This was my favorite quote and I made copies for all the girls. We need to love what the Lord loves and focus on Him. That is the path to joy and overcoming fear. We need Him. We are mortal. He is perfect. He knows the end from the beginning and can give us that eternal perspective. He cares about the things we care about and no fear or trouble is too small to give to Him. But He wants us to be happy and therefore doesn’t want us to dwell on our fears. We need to give them to Him and then follow Him with joy. When we prioritize Him and His gospel, everything else works out in the end.

I didn't have time to share all of the following with the girls, but I was so happy to have a Spirit-led discussion. Honestly, this is one of those lessons that I'm sure I needed more than they did. I've been afraid of a lot of things lately and have benefited from refocusing on my Savior.

Lisa L. Harkness (bold added):

Regardless of our circumstances, we can intentionally make efforts to build and increase our faith in Jesus Christ. It is strengthened when we remember that we are children of God and that He loves us. Our faith grows as we experiment on the word of God with hope and diligence, trying our very best to follow Christ’s teachings. Our faith increases as we choose to believe rather than doubt, forgive rather than judge, repent rather than rebel. Our faith is refined as we patiently rely on the merits and mercy and grace of the Holy Messiah.

“While faith is not a perfect knowledge,” Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, “it brings a deep trust in God, whose knowledge is perfect!” Even in turbulent times, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is gritty and resilient. It helps us sift through unimportant distractions. It encourages us to keep moving along the covenant path. Faith pushes through discouragement and allows us to face the future with resolve and squared shoulders. It prompts us to ask for rescue and relief as we pray to the Father in the name of His Son. And when prayerful pleas seem to go unanswered, our persistent faith in Jesus Christ produces patience, humility, and the ability to reverently utter the words “Thy will be done.”

... 

Lisa L. Harkness: Recently, President Nelson promised “that decreased fear and increased faith will follow” as we “begin anew truly to hear, hearken to, and heed the words of the Savior.”

Can you see the emphasis, as always, that's being placed on us taking charge of our own testimonies and experiences? It all comes down to following the Savior. There is no place for fear in our lives when we follow Jesus Christ. He will lead us safely home.

Abide with Me! (Hymn #166)

1.Abide with me! fast falls the eventide;

The darkness deepens. Lord, with me abide!

When other helpers fail and comforts flee,

Help of the helpless, oh, abide with me!

2.Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day.

Earth’s joys grow dim; its glories pass away.

Change and decay in all around I see;

O thou who changest not, abide with me!

3.I need thy presence ev’ry passing hour.

What but thy grace can foil the tempter’s pow’r?

Who, like thyself, my guide and stay can be?

Thru cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me!

Text: Henry F. Lyte, 1793–1847

Music: William H. Monk, 1823–1889

We need Him every hour.

I did some research on Henry F. Lyte and learned that he (according to Wikipedia) wrote that song when he was dying of tuberculosis. Apparently he was stubborn about preaching despite his condition and he said, "it's better to wear out than to rust out." That got me thinking. Fear is like rust. It will slowly eat away at us and the cores of our beliefs. When we focus on fear, we are still and allow it to overwhelm us. We’re more susceptible to the adversary when we’re idle. When we press forward and engage in the work, we “wear out” in the service of our God. We lose our lives to Him and then find them. He makes us new, far better creatures.

Photo by Avinash Kumar on Unsplash

I asked ChatGPT to explain how metal rusts. It said:

Rust can weaken the structural integrity of metal objects, making them more susceptible to damage and eventually leading to failure. To prevent rust, various methods can be used, such as coating the metal with a protective layer, using corrosion-resistant alloys, or preventing contact with water and oxygen.

I shared this idea of rust with the class as I closed the lesson. My challenge was for the girls to figure out what spiritual "protective layers" they could use in their lives to prevent rusting out. I'd extend the same invitation to you guys.

• What will you coat your life in to prevent fear from winning?
• How will you seek spirituality in your daily lives?
• How will you love what God loves?

Make a goal. I'd love to hear how it goes.

Bonnie Gwyn