A-Z 2013 Day Twelve: Love's Different Forms

L is for Love's Different Forms

They each have pros and cons, differences and similarities - but each are important to know and understand :) I was reading up on the types of love today and was blown away at how much they explain. It's interesting that the things we go through could really be titled and so well understood without us realizing it.

1. Eros love - the romance ;) If you "fall in love" with someone without really knowing them, or because being in love with them feels good for you, it's Eros. Kinda self-centered, honestly! It's based on strong feelings, attention to physical traits, and again - the word me. It's a love that's untested by time together or hardships, and therefore may or may not last in the long-term.

Typically, those in this kind of love/relationship put their best foot forward and don't show weaknesses and sorrows - the things that really allow two people to get to know each other. Of course, Eros isn't all bad! Romance is beautiful and magical - it strengthens the bonds between men and women, especially at the start of a relationship. And that's how it should be. But we can't confuse Eros with true, real love just because it's romantic and all we feel is happiness. We must learn to use both heart and mind to judge if something is real.

2. Philos love - a love based on friendship :) C.S. Lewis commented that friendship is exceedingly profound because it is freely chosen. Couldn't say it any better myself.

It is true that those relationships that start as friendships are usually the ones that last longer - and are stronger. Friendship is the foundation of a successful relationship - be it romantic or otherwise. In romance specifically, the advantage to friendship is that you get to know each other first, before committing or getting serious. You develop trust and understanding, and other vital parts of a relationship.

Philos love is a mutual love - "give-and-take," where both benefit each other and look after each other. Less me - more you and we. Therefore, Philos is a higher love than Eros - but it still must grow to become the highest.

3. Agape - unconditional love <3 It is selfless - no me. This is when someone loves through the hardships and even when it isn't returned. When there's possibly no benefit for them. When you love someone for who they are - good and bad. 

The greatest example of this is God's divine love for all of us. Charity - the pure love of Christ. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is a perfect description of this love:

 4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
 8 Charity never faileth.

Charity is definitely my goal, because this love - true love - never fails. :) And it doesn't just disappear when someone breaks up with you, or moves away, or dies.

Bonnie Gwyn